Resident Evil Zero: Weird Dreams
by Spider-bear
Summary: Basically this entire story is based on a few weird dreams that I had about RE0. Each chapter is based on a different dream. My friend had TWO weird dreams involving RE so I shall post them once she types them up and sends them to me! HURRY UP KATE!
1. The Survivor

"Resident Evil Zero: Weird Dreams" 

Chapter 1 

The Survivor

Billy and Rebecca slowly walked through the dark living room looking for the key to open the two red fire emblem doors on the lower floors.  They were currently on the third floor and carried their 9mm pistols.  The duo were walking by the fireplace when something all of the sudden jumped out at them! Billy and Rebecca let out a startled yelp as they turned their guns on the creature.  

"Don't shoot!" they heard a little voice say. Rebecca turned on her flashlight and pointed it at the black figure that they almost shot.  There sitting in front of them was a little Asian girl that looked about seven or eight years old.  She was barefoot and wore a black kimono.  The girl looked up at them and a cheerful smile spread across her face.  "Hi Billy!  Hi Rebecca!  How are you guys?"  Billy gave the girl a confused look as Rebecca knelt down to the girl and started checking the girl for any injuries.  

"She seems perfectly fine," Rebecca reported to Billy who was still pointing his gun down at the girl.  "Billy, put the gun down already!"  Billy put his pistol in his hip pocket.  

"How do you know our names?" Billy asked.  

"I dunno, but I love you guys!  You two are the coolest people ever!"  

"How did you get here?"  Rebecca asked the girl with concern, "You are the first survivor that we've met so far.  You must be a very brave kid!  How did you survive through all of this?"  

"And why the hell are you so happy?" Billy questioned clearly getting annoyed.  

            "Billy!"  Rebecca scolded at Billy's rudeness, "Don't be so mean!  This girl I'm sure has already been through a lot and the last thing she needs is you acting like a total jerk to her!"  Billy crossed his arms on his muscular chest and turned away from the two in a huff.  The girl didn't seemed at all distressed or upset about Billy's impatience and stood up in front of Billy, looking up at him still wearing a big smile.  She only came up to Billy's waist.  

She stood there quietly staring at Billy for about thirty seconds until Billy looked down at her and broke the silence, "What are you looking at shorty?"  

"Billy!"  Rebecca scolded again standing up in the girl's defense.  

"Can I come with you guys please please please?"  The young girl asked jumping up and down with excitement. 

"Of course, yes!  We have to get you out of here!"  Rebecca exclaimed as she took the girl's hand and walked towards the door next to the fireplace.  Rebecca opened the door and gently pushed the girl inside to the next room.  She was about to walk in herself when she glanced back and saw Billy still standing in the middle of the room with his arms crossed.  "Billy!  Come on!"  Billy only looked at her.  "Get over here!" Billy slowly walked over to her. 

"I swear!  If that kid gets attacked by anything I am not going to help her!"  

"What's your problem?" 

"That girl!" 

"What's so bad about her?"  

"She reminds me of Ralph Wiggum from 'The Simpsons'!"  Rebecca couldn't help but laugh a little bit at the remark.  "I'm serious!  She does!  I've only known her for about two minutes and I already want to shoot her!"  Billy pulled out his pistol.  

"Just have patience and try to cope with it okay?"  Rebecca pushed him through the door as she pulled out her gun.  She walked through the door after him and closed the door behind her.  

Rebecca and Billy walked up the steps to a room with a huge water tank and a hole in the wall of a bathroom on the top floor of the training facility.  They both had overly annoyed expressions on their faces and behind them came the irritating babbling of the little girl telling a story, "And then the doctor said that I wouldn't smell so bad if I didn't keep peeing in my pants when I went to the bathroom!"  Billy and Rebecca let out disgusted groans as they got a visual.  

"Yeah.  Fine.  That's great, kid," Billy remarked, "No more stories for now, okay?"  

"Okay!" The child responded as they reached the top of the stairs, "Then we'll play a game instead!" 

"NO!" Rebecca and Billy shot back quickly. 

"Ya know, you guys are right," The girl agreed, "I'm not ready to play a game on an empty stomach.  I need to eat something first.  Give me some food!"  

"We don't have any food."  Rebecca said trying her hardest to keep her rage from exploding.  

"BUT I'M HUNGRY!!!"  The girl whined with tears forming around her eyes.  She sat down on the floor and started crying.  She all of the sudden stopped and groaned, "Uh-oh.  I think I wet myself again."  Billy and Rebecca growled in frustration.  

"LOOK!"  Billy barked, "Uh.  Why don't you go over to that bathroom over there and clean yourself up and we'll wait here for you, okay."  Billy finished trying to stay as calm and cool as possible.  

"Okay!"  The little girl chirped as she ran to the other said of the room to the crappy bathroom.  

"If that kid complains about the bathroom, I'll break her neck."  Billy commented.  Rebecca chuckled a little bit.  

"I hear ya!  I'm sorry that I got mad at you and everything when you got annoyed with her before." 

"No harm done.  I understand."  They all of the sudden heard a loud screeching from the ceiling.  They looked up and saw one hundred bats come flying down towards them!  They quickly pulled their pistols out and began shooting the bats as fast as they could.  Exactly three minutes later, all of the bats were dead and the little girl came out of the bathroom clapping excitedly. 

"YAY!!!  YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!  YOU BEAT ALL OF THEM BEFORE THE TIME RAN OUT!" 

"What?"  Rebecca asked confused. 

"Was that the game that you wanted to play?" Billy asked. 

"Yes!  And you guys did great!"  The girl replied.  Billy and Rebecca exchanged glances, looked down and saw that the girl was carrying a white door with the frame still attached to it and a large square cardboard box.  

"What the hell are you up to now?" Rebecca exclaimed. The girl calmly and quietly set the cardboard box on the ground and set the door vertically on top of it, but it fell over almost mashing Billy's toes.  The girl tried two or three more times until the door finally stood up by itself.  The girl was on one side and Billy and Rebecca were on the other.  

"Knock on the door Billy!" The girl said with enthusiasm.  Billy looked over at Rebecca who just shrugged his shoulders back at him.  

"Um.  Okay."  Billy answered. He slowly walked up to the door and gently knocked on it.  

The girl opened it with a blank look on her face.  When she looked up at Billy, she broke into a smile and jumped through the door at Billy yelling excitedly, "DADDY!"  She hugged Billy around the waist and repeatedly said, "Daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy!"  This scared the crap out of Billy!

"AAAAAAAA!!!  I'M NOT YOUR DADDY, DUMBASS!  GET OFF OF ME!  LET GO OF ME YOU LITTLE BRAT!  REBECCA, HELP!!!!"  Billy's cries went on for about a minute as Rebecca just watched and chuckled.  Billy finally managed to kick the girl off.  She sat up as Billy pulled an oozy out of his back pocket and started loading it as he said, "Rebecca and me gotta go now kid,"  Billy turned to Rebecca, "Okay. You know the drill.  I cover you and you cover me."  

"Right."  Rebecca and Billy glanced back at where the girl was sitting and she wasn't there.  They quickly glanced around and the girl was nowhere to be seen.  It was she just disappeared.  Billy and Rebecca looked up at the ceiling and screamed, "Thank you, God!"  

Just seconds later they heard something moving in the water.  Suddenly, a gigantic pink flounder jumped out of the water and attacked Billy!  It hit him across the room where he was caught by a giant centipede!  "Rebecca, help!"  Billy screamed.  

"Hang on Billy!"  Rebecca yelled back.  She then ran into the bathroom behind her.  Leeches covered the rocky, run-down walls.  Rebecca searched frantically for something to kill the centipede with.  She found two small barrels that were 4 times as big as a grenade next to the sink.  They had big red initials on them: DK.  She grabbed them and ran outside to the centipede.  She threw them at the centipede's face.  After the two small explosions, the centipede let go and died as Billy fell to the ground.  

Rebecca then, for no reason at all, dove into the water and started doing laps.  Also, for no reason at all, Rebecca's hair was longer than it was ten seconds before.  Now her hair is an inch or two past her shoulders.  After she stopped swimming laps, she started treading water and said to the wall, "Remember kids: after you go to college, go to a university."  

"That sounded really smart Rebecca."  Billy said sarcastically.  

"Shut up Billy!"  Rebecca said playfully.  Then Billy started singing. 

"The best thing about UCSD is that you can take your relationships with you."  Billy sang in an exceptionally good voice as he kneeled down by the edge of the water. 

"Why do you say such things?"  Rebecca sang back with a voice like Pocahontas. 

"Because I love you."  Billy sang back.  Rebecca then got out of the water as they both sang.  After she got out, they ran outside into the forest prancing around and singing like a couple of weirdos from a Disney movie.  After about five minutes, they stopped in the middle of a dark, green, grassy plain.  Billy was sitting cross-legged in the grass and Rebecca had her head rested in his lap while looking up at the stars.  Billy was looking down at her and gently tugging on her hair along as he sang the circus song.  Rebecca closed her eyes and as smile spread across her face.  


	2. The Headless Fighter

Chapter 2 

The Headless Fighter 

            Billy ran along the steel walkway that was suspended over a dark pit.  He was inside of a dam and somehow got himself separated from Rebecca.  She radioed him earlier and described which room she was in and now Billy was trying to find a way into the room.  He had his pistol out and had been running through these walkways for what seemed like forever and he still couldn't find an end to it.  Finally he turned around another corner and stopped, pointing his gun in front of him.  A smile spread across his face when he saw what was just thirty meters ahead of him: a small control room with a door next to it.  He was sure that the door led to the room that Rebecca was in.  He raced towards it and suddenly stopped in his tracks when he heard a clatter and a roar coming towards the ceiling.  He couldn't see anything above him because it was so dark.  

            Then a huge figure about twelve feet tall jumped down from the darkness above and landed three feet in front of him.  Billy looked up at it and stared right into the face of the Tyrant!  "Uh-oh." Billy murmured as he took out his shotgun.  He aimed the 12-gauge shotgun at the tyrant's head and was just about to pull the trigger when the Tyrant's huge claw swiped at Billy's head.  The sharp claw hit the left side of Billy's head about half way down the neck and cut through his flesh.  At the end of the swipe, the Tyrant hit the shotgun out of Billy's right hand.  The gun fell into the infinite darkness of the abyss below followed by Billy's head!  

Billy's headless body stumbled backwards a few steps.  The Tyrant grinned at its evil doing.  Then its expression suddenly changed as his body didn't fall over, but regained its balance and stood up tall!  The Tyrant watched in utter confusion as one of Billy's hands reached up and felt the top of its torn, but not so bloody neck.  The Tyrant then heard Billy's voice say, "Aarrgghh!! Son of a-" the body pointed a finger at the Tyrant, "You jerk!  You took my head clean off!  I needed it!"  The Tyrant's mouth dropped open in shock.  How was Billy still alive and why on earth was he still talking without a head?  The more the Tyrant thought about it, the more freaked out it got!  Suddenly, it turned and started running towards the door.  Somehow, Billy could still see as well and he bolted after it.  "HEY!  GET BACK HERE!  I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU YET!"  

"NOT ON YOUR LIFE, HEADLESS FREAK!" the Tyrant shot back.  

"OH! YOU'RE REALLY GOING TO PAY FOR IT NOW TEST TUBE BOY!!"  Billy pulled out his pistol and kept chasing the Tyrant back and forth along the walkway.  "HEY!  WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?  COME HERE! I JUST WANNA TALK TO YOU!"  

The Tyrant stopped in his tracks and turned to look at Billy.  "Really?" 

"Yeah," Billy answered calmly, "WITH THIS!"  Billy pointed his gun at the Tyrant.  

"HELL NO!  GET AWAY FROM ME!"  The Tyrant shot back as he turned and ran away again.  Billy followed.  

Eventually, Billy tackled the Tyrant by grabbing his legs.  The Tyrant scrambled to its feet and found that it was cornered.  It slid down the wall and cowered in the corner as Billy walked up to it, gun in hand.  The Tyrant started whimpering and said, "I want my mommy!"  Billy pointed the pistol at its head.  Then it burst into tears as it said, "MOMMY!" about every five seconds.  

Billy couldn't help but feel sorry for the poor monster.  He lowered his gun and started to walk up to the monster to give it a hug.  "Ohhh….poor guy.  Come here.  Give me a hug."  Billy bent down and started to hug it around the shoulders.  Then the Tyrant reached up and grabbed Billy by what was left of his neck.  "I can't believe you fell for THAT one, DUMBASS!"  

"HEY!  LAST TIME I TRY TO BE NICE TO YOU, JERK!"  Billy pointed his gun at the Tyrants head.  

"Um….sorry?" the Tyrant said through a dorky grin.  Then Billy shot the Tyrant in the head several times until it let go of him and died.  Billy stood up and went in the door off to the side hoping to see Rebecca.  

When Billy came through the door, he found Rebecca fighting off four zombies!  Billy quickly helped her shoot them all.  After all of the zombies were dead, Rebecca said, "Thanks for saving my life again,"  She looked up at Billy and jumped back, startled, "HOLY CRAP!  WHAT THE HELL?!"   

"Huh?  What?"  

"WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!"  Then Billy remembered that he lost his head a while ago.  

"Oh!  Um.  Yeah!  I had a little problem with that Tyrant guy, but I showed him!  Heh heh heh."  Billy chuckled silently to himself.  Rebecca tisked.  

"Billy Billy Billy.  What am I going to do with you?"  Billy hung his neck in shame.  "Sheesh.  I knew from the moment I met you that you had a potential to hurt yourself.  Come on.  Let's go."  

"Yes ma'am."  Billy murmured as he followed Rebecca into the elevator on the other side of the room.  

After they pressed the button to go up they sat in silence for a few seconds.  Suddenly they felt a huge jolt.  They both let out a startled yelp and then the elevator started moving faster and faster.  Eventually, it was going so fast that when it reached the top floor, it crashed into the ceiling causing both Rebecca and Billy to be launched into the air.  Rebecca didn't go so high, so she just fell back down to the elevator floor, but Billy soared!  He flew out of the building and sailed over the entire forest outside!  He started falling back down to the earth when he was over a freeway.  He landed on a silver Honda Accord's windshield and was knocked unconscious.  He somehow managed not to damage the car.  The driver, the driver's wife, and two little kids: a son and daughter screamed at the top of their lungs when they saw that a headless body landed on their car.  They swerved around the road trying to shake Billy off of their windshield, but he stuck like glue!  The driver finally slammed on the brakes, causing Billy to fly off into the bushes by the side of the road.  

The family sat quietly in the car, completely shocked.  A moment later, there was a rustle in the bushes.  The family jumped in their seats.  Then they saw Billy emerge from the bushes groaning and holding his back.  He turned and faced them.  He waved and cheerfully called, "Hi!" The family was totally stunned.  "You guys okay?  Sorry if I scared you guys.  Uh, I didn't hurt your car, did I?  Um, you guys wouldn't happen to have an extra seat in there would ya?"  


	3. The Visitor

Sorry if this was a long wait.  I just started school on the 25th of August and they really like to pile the homework on us sophomores fast!  (I also got lazy and didn't feel like writing for a while!)  Hope you enjoy the last of the dreams.  It isn't really as funny as the others and it has a little romance instead of action.  IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, YOU CAN BLAME MY DREAM FOR NOT BEING AS ENTERTAINING!  Enjoy! 

Chapter 3 

The Visitor 

            Rebecca Chambers calmly walked down the white painted hallways.  Everyone around her was dressed in white.  All of the doctors greeted her cheerfully and she always answered with a "Hello!" and a bright smile.  She seemed like the oddball of the facility since she was the only one that wasn't covered in white.  She was dressed in her S.T.A.R.S. uniform.  

As she kept walking down the hallway, all she could think of was what happened the year before: her fight with Umbrella.  She was one of the only survivors of the infamous mansion incident.  She, Chris, Brad, Jill, and Barry were the only surviving S.T.A.R.S. members.  However, there was another survivor besides Rebecca and her co-workers: Billy Coen.  Billy was an escaped convict on death row.  Rebecca was the only person who believed him when he said that he was innocent.  Billy and Rebecca teamed up and fought the horrors of Umbrella together.  Eventually Billy was beheaded by the Tyrant, but somehow managed to survive.  After that Billy and Rebecca got separated from each other for almost twenty-four hours when Billy was launched onto a freeway by a rabid elevator.  Billy ended up finding his lost head in a gutter on his way to the Arklay laboratory.  When he reached the lab, he found Rebecca who sewed his head back on for him.  After they were able to escape from the lab, Billy returned to his Military Base.  For whatever reason, the judges changed their decision of giving Billy the death penalty and decided to send him back to the mental hospital.  Rebecca was now walking through the hallways of the institute he was staying at.  "I finally get to see him again!" Rebecca thought as she smiled.  

She turned a corner and came to room 102.  She knocked on the white door and waited.  As the doorknob started turning, Rebecca suddenly transformed into Homer Simpson!  Billy opened the door wearing the purple tank top and jeans that he fought in when he was in the mansion with Rebecca.  Billy eyes lit up when he saw his old friend.  "Homer?!" 

"Heya Billy!"

"Oh my god!" Billy cried out as he hugged Homer/Rebecca, "It's great to see you!  How are you?" 

"I'm just great!  I've missed you too, buddy!" Homer/Rebecca said returning the hug including a pat on the back.  

"Come on in!"  Billy nudged Homer/Rebecca inside and closed the door behind him.  

"Wow, Billy!" Homer/Rebecca exclaimed when he saw the room, "This place is great!"  Billy's room was more like a really nice apartment than a cell holding all the other psychos.  He had a bar, kitchen, window to the outside, TV, couch, lazy-boy recliner, coffee table, a bathroom, and bedroom with a chin-up bar above the doorframe.  

"No kidding!"  Billy replied, "My room wasn't like this last time I was here.  Want a Duff?"  

"Sure!"  Homer/Rebecca answered quickly.  Billy tossed Homer/Rebecca a beer and grabbed one for himself out of the refrigerator.  Billy sat down at the bar next to Homer/Rebecca.  

"Hi, Billy!"  A bundle of voices called.  Billy and Homer/Rebecca turned around and saw about a dozen toddlers crawling through Billy's tenth floor window!  All of the children were wearing sleepers.  The girls wore pink and the boys wore light blue.  

"Kids!"  Billy said with open arms.  Two of the toddlers hugged Billy's leg and another hopped into Billy's lap.  He gave the kid a hug and started to bounce him on his knee.  He child smiled and laughed as Billy bounced him.  All the other kids started playing with each other on Billy's living room floor. 

"YOU?! KIDS?!"  Homer/Rebecca asked in surprise, "SINCE WHEN DID YOU LIKE KIDS?!" 

"Since I got here!  These kids can be great therapy!  Isn't that right, Jeremy?"  

"Darn tootin'!"  The kid on Billy's knee answered while playing with Billy's shirt.  Billy chuckled a little. 

"Isn't he cute?" 

"Yeah.  He reminds me of Bart when he was little."  Homer scratched Jeremy's head a little, "Except at that age, Bart flushed my wallet and keys down the toilet and I had to fish them out of the sewer!"  Homer shook his fist at the ground and grumbled, "Stupid kids." 

"Not these kids.  They're the best!" 

"Whose kids are these anyways?" 

"Some girls in room 202.  They're great!"

Homer looked at Billy weird. "Are you their dad?"  

"Don't give me that look!  Oh course I'm not!  You know I'm not like that!"  

"I thought so.  I'm just making sure!"  

"Yeah, I know.  You always want to check up on me.  That's why you're one of my best buddies!"  Billy hugged Homer/Rebecca with one arm.  

"Heh heh.  Yeah.  This place has really changed you for the better Billy!  You used to be a total jerk and now you're like the nicest guy on the planet!" 

"Thanks, Homer.  But I can still be a total jerk if I want to." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah.  Watch,"  Billy all of the sudden shoved Jeremy off of him and kicked off the two kids that were hugging his leg, "GET OUTTA HERE, YOU STINKY BUTT-MONKEYS!!!  ALL OF YOU!  OUT!"  

"You're mean!"  the kids said simultaneously with grumpy, but adorable looks on their faces, "We don't like you anymore!"  The kids filed out of the room and out the window where the crawled across to the room next door.  Billy ran to the window and looked off to the left.  

"I was just kidding!  Sorry!"  Billy called after them.  

"That's okay, Billy!" Jeremy called back, "We still love you!" 

"I love you too, Jeremy!  Bye!" 

"Good night!" 

"Hey, Emily!" Billy called again.  

"Yeah?" a small voice answered.  

"Tell your mom that the purple monkeys flew back to Never Neverland!"  

"Okay!"  the girl giggled, "Bye, Billy!" 

"See you tomorrow!" Billy walked back to Homer/Rebecca.  Homer/Rebecca started laughing.  "What's so funny?" 

"YOU!" 

"What?" 

"You say that you can be a jerk if you want and you couldn't even go thirty seconds without apologizing!"  Billy laughed. 

"It's kind of hard to be a jerk when you aren't one anymore." 

"Yeah, I guess you're right."  Homer/Rebecca sipped his/her beer, "Do you ever want kids?"  

"I don't know," Billy sipped his beer, "If mine would be as cool as those kids, then definitely!  Speaking of which, how's the family?" 

"They're okay, I guess." 

"You guess?  Is anything wrong?"  

"Kind of." Homer/Rebecca took sip of beer.

"Like what?" 

"Lisa's fine.  Marge's fine.  The boy is doing his usual trouble-causing, school-failing thing.  The other kid's fine." 

"It doesn't seem that bad.  Are you disappointed with Bart?  Is that what's troubling you?" 

"No!  Well….yeah….kind of, but he's always been like that and it's never really bothered me that much.  It's not like I did any better either at his age.  I still love the kid.  I think that it's Marge's witch sisters that have been getting on my nerves.  Them and Flanders." 

"Those old hags again?!  Jeez!  You never get a break from them do you?"  Billy took a sip of beer.  

"Nope.  But I feel a little better now since last night me and the boy attacked Flanders with a bunch of Maggie's heavily loaded diapers, if you know what I mean!"  Billy burst out laughing, causing him to spit out the beer.  This just made Billy laugh harder.  Homer/Rebecca started cracking up too and patted Billy on the back as he coughed and laughed at the same time.  

"OW!  DANG THAT STINGS!" 

"What?" 

"Some of the beer went out my nose and it's all bubbly!"  Homer/Rebecca laughed so hard that he/she fell out of his/her chair and started rolling on the floor laughing.  They went totally nuts.  Everything that happened over the next five minutes seemed like the most hilarious thing in the world to them.  They laughed at everything.  Eventually, they ended up spilling their beers all over the counter top.  They finally stopped laughing after their faces turned beet-red with a few tears and their sides were aching.  Homer/Rebecca slowly stood up still chuckling a little as Billy got some paper towels to clean up the mess.  

"So, have you heard from Rebecca lately?"  Billy stopped and let out a long sigh.  He gently rubbed the faint scar that wrapped around his neck.  

"No," Billy put the paper towels over the spilt beer as Homer/Rebecca tossed the empty beer bottles in the recycle bin, "Not since the courts decided to put me back in here." 

"How long has it been?" 

"A whole year and I haven't even gotten a phone call from her.  And of course I couldn't call her because I don't know her number." 

"I bet you the reason why she hasn't even called you is because when you first came in here, the doctors wouldn't let you have contact with anyone until you were a little more 'sane'."    

"That makes sense.  They probably wouldn't have even let me call her."  

"Then why do you have a phone in here?" 

"For free room service!"  Billy and Homer/Rebecca laughed again.  

"It took forever until the doctors would even let me come here!  They finally called me yesterday and told me that you were allowed to have visitors."

"Wonder if Rebecca got that call too."

"You really miss her don't you?" 

"Like you wouldn't believe!"  Billy threw the beer-soaked paper towels into the trash can behind him and put a wet sponge to the sticky counter-top and started wiping it down.  

"Oh man." 

"What?"  Homer/Rebecca started dancing around. 

"Where's the bathroom?"  Billy pointed behind him.  

"Behind the bar, next to the kitchen."  Homer/Rebecca ran as fast as he/she could to the bathroom.  A few seconds Billy heard the door slam shut, a zip, and a long sigh of relief.  Billy just shook his head and chuckled to himself.  

He suddenly heard a knock on the door.  He tossed the dirty sponge into the kitchen sink and walked up to the door.  He opened it and was utterly confused at what he saw.  "HOMER?!"  

"Greetings, friend!"  Homer walked in and hugged Billy.  Billy hugged him back a little and closed the door behind him.  

"Uh, hi Homer!  Heh heh…..um….didn't you just go into my bathroom like two seconds ago?" 

"Huh?  No, but this is ONE HELL OF A PLACE YOU GOT HERE!  I never thought that insane asylums could be so nice!" 

"Are you sure that you're weren't already here?" 

"Of course I am!" 

"But isn't that you in the bathroom?"  

"Oh I'm a-sittin' on the toilet all the live-long day!"  Homer/Rebecca sang from the bathroom.  A look of shock came across Homer's face.  Billy and Homer looked at each other.  

"DEAR LORD! I'VE BECOME A SCHITZOPHRENIC!"  They both cried.  Homer/Rebecca walked out of the bathroom and bumped into Homer.  

"Oh!  Hiya Homer!"  Homer/Rebecca greeted.  Homer screamed like a little girl, ran and hid behind the sofa.  

"SAVE ME JEBUS!" Homer whimpered.  

"Oops."  Homer/Rebecca mumbled. 

"SWEET TURKEY SANDWICHES!  WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!"  Billy cried out looking back and forth at Homer and Homer/Rebecca.  

"Oh…heh heh….yeah," Homer/Rebecca said nervously, "The thing about that is-"  Homer/Rebecca changed back into Rebecca.  "It's me."  Rebecca smiled nervously.  

"HOLY BEEF STICKS!"  Billy exclaimed.  Rebecca laughed.  

"Oh!  It's just you," Homer stood up, "DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT!  YOU KNOW THAT I CAN NEVER REMEMBER THAT YOU'RE A MUTANT!"  

"M-M-MUTANT?!  Billy stuttered.  

"I tried calling to tell you, but the doctors wouldn't let me talk to you." 

"You're a mutant?"  Billy was still kind of freaked out. 

"Mutation happens during heightened emotional stress and that whole thing at the mansion just triggered it!"  Rebecca explained, "While you were gone, I suddenly turned myself into a Hunter for protection."  

"You're like Mystique without the blue skin then, right?"  Homer asked.  Rebecca laughed a little.  

"That's one way of putting it!"  Rebecca replied.  She turned back to Billy, "I was a little afraid to tell anyone at first.  That's why I didn't say anything when we met up again." 

"I see," Billy said approaching Rebecca, "THAT IS SO COOL!!"  

"Oh yeah!  I'm also telepathic.  That's why I knew everything going on with Homer over there."  

"ALSO AWESOME!"  Billy replied.  

"YOU CAN READ MY MIND?!"  Homer asked, shocked.  An evil look came across Rebecca's face. 

"I KNOW ALL OF YOUR SECRETS! BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!" Everyone started laughing.  After the laughter settled down, Rebecca noticed that Billy was staring at her.  She faced him. 

"What?"  Rebecca asked. 

"Nothing," Billy answered while stroking her face, "I just really missed you."  Rebecca hugged Billy around the neck.  

"I know.  I missed you too."  Billy Rebecca hugged her around the waist and kissed her on the neck.  

"Awwww," Homer commented, "The perfect Kodak moment!  It makes me thirsty.  I need a beer."  Rebecca started cracking up.  

"BEER!" she cried out and kept laughing into Billy's muscular chest.  Billy looked at her weird until he finally got the joke.  Billy started laughing at the memory of the beer coming out his nose and the mess that they made with it only minutes before.  Rebecca laughed so hard that she fell on the floor.  The loud thud would've made anyone think that it hurt, but it just made Rebecca laugh more.  Billy started giggling like a girl.  Homer chuckled a little.  

"What?" Homer asked confused while pulling a beer out of the refrigerator, "What's so funny?"  Billy calmed down just enough to talk a little. 

"It happened just before you came here!  Tell him what happened, Rebecca."  After about thirty seconds of continuous laughing, Rebecca was able to slowly calm herself down.  Homer sat down in Billy's lazy-boy recliner next to the TV with his open beer, ready to listen.  

"Okay," she said.  For the next half hour Rebecca told the whole story of the visit so far and kept cracking up at parts so much that Billy sometimes had to pick up the story where she left off.  When the story was over, everyone was so red and tired from laughter that they all had to take a rest for about fifteen minutes.  By that time everyone was asleep.  

Billy eventually awoke and found himself sitting up against the coffee table.  He looked over at Homer and found that he was still sitting in his chair by the TV with an empty beer bottle resting on his stomach.  Homer was asleep and drooling.  His watch beeped a little signaling that it was midnight.  Billy turned to Rebecca who was peacefully asleep on the floor.  Billy smiled and watched her for a few minutes.  Then he quietly stood up and walked over to Rebecca.  He bent down and gently picked her up.  He carried her over to the sofa and sat down.  She ended up sitting on his lap with her head rested next to his shoulder.  Billy ran his fingers through her hair as he stared at her for God knows how long.  He held her close and gently pecked her on the lips.  "I love you." He whispered.  He kissed her on the forehead and started to close his eyes when he heard Rebecca's voice inside his head say, "I love you too."  Billy chuckled a little and fell asleep.  

THE END!  Awwwwww….isn't that a sweet ending?  Billy's in love with Rebecca the telepathic and shape changing mutant.  Awwwww…..Sorry again if you guys didn't like it or whatever.  My favorite I think is still "The Headless Fighter".  Well, I guess this is it!  *sniff*  This is the end of "Resident Evil Zero: Weird Dreams" until I have another stupidly funny dream.  Don't count on that being any time soon though!  I'll change the summary to let you know when and if I get another chapter up!  PLEASE REVIEW!  I LOVE YOU ALL!  BYE! 

AND MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!!!!!


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